Real Question:
“Why do I keep repeating the same mistakes, even when I know better?”

Insight/Story:
There’s something more painful than failure.
It’s watching yourself fail the same way over and over again, while fully conscious of it.
That’s the sting of self-sabotage.

And in the age of AI, we’re seeing something strange emerge:
People know what to do.
They ask LLMs, they get tools, insights, even 10-step plans.
But they still don’t do it.

Because the problem isn’t information.
It’s identification.

Self-sabotage isn’t stupidity.
It’s loyalty to an inner structure built around survival.

One of my clients – a seasoned entrepreneur – kept procrastinating launching a new product.
Every week, he came back with the same excuse: “I just need to refine the pitch.”
After some deeper inquiry, we hit the truth.

He wasn’t refining.
He was hiding.

What he was really protecting was a self-image that said:

• “If I launch and fail, I’ll finally have proof I’m not good enough.”

So he never launched.
Because in his unconscious, failure was safer than freedom.

That’s the core of self-sabotage:
It protects the identity the psyche believes it needs to survive.
Even if that identity is misery.

The Shift:

You don’t sabotage because you’re broken.
You sabotage because a younger part of you is still driving the bus – and it doesn’t trust you to be fully seen, successful, or sovereign.

It believes:

• “It’s not safe to be powerful.”
• “It’s not safe to be happy.”
• “If I shine, I’ll be abandoned.”

These beliefs are not mental.
They’re imprints in the unconscious.
Black holes, as I call them, around which the ego structures itself.

Until those black holes are met, not fixed – you will continue to orbit them.
Even if you read every book.
Even if you ask AI every question.
Even if you “know better.”

Because knowing isn’t enough.
Only being with changes you.

This is where Integrative Coaching shines.
We guide you back to the parts of you that were exiled for survival –
and help you bring them home.

Takeaway/Reflection:

Next time you catch yourself avoiding something important, don’t ask:

• “Why am I doing this again?”

Ask:

• “What part of me is being protected by this behaviour?”

That question will lead you to the real work.
And from there, everything becomes possible.

LLMs can show you how to act.
But only presence can show you why you haven’t.
If you’re ready to stop circling your potential and start living it –
you don’t need another plan.
You need a mirror.
And I’m here.

Find out more: https://integrativestg.ebizonstg.com/
Book a session: https://integrativestg.ebizonstg.com/book-discovery-call/